Updated: Feb 8
Divorce and separation are very difficult and emotional issues. That being said, sometimes people grow apart and would like to go separate ways. These issues are difficult on the entire family, both direct and extended.
1) The mediation process may allow you to speak your mind without judgment.
2) The mediation process may minimize the impact on your children.
3) The mediation process may allow you to expedite your process.
4) The mediation process reduces the time to reach a resolution.
5) The mediation process saves you money.
When partners are considering a legal separation or even filing for divorce, they often have different points of view on issues like the division of property, custody arrangements for the children, or the financial aspect of support.
Having a disagreement does not mean negotiations are fatal. However, if you don't work it out, it does not mean you have to go in front of a judge to resolve these differences. While many people think they want to have their day in court, often they regret the financial ramification of that choice.
Judges have no idea about the inner details of your relationship and frankly, typically focus on the facts at hand. It is far more logical to sort out your differences in a manner that may be controllable. It often makes sense to work out as many issues as possible out of court. In most cases, resolving disputes outside of court saves considerable time and money.
Mediation is a viable option for many, but not all. If you are unwilling to imagine that you might be wrong, if you are unwilling to look at things from another angle, if you are unwilling to negotiate, if you are unwilling to notice the impact of your collective actions upon the children, if you are at an impasse and absolutely stuck in your own mud, you might be better off to wallow for a while. That mud may well absorb a great deal of your money and time. If you think there might be the slightest chance that you can come to an agreement through mediation, please give it a try. Bring the case to a mediator and let them reach out to the other party.
Mediators are trained in the art of negotiation and compromise. A mediator does NOT represent YOU. A mediator is trained to find an amicable and reasonable solution that can present a functional future. A mediator will not do anything that is unfair to the children or puts them in danger. A mediator wants you and your partner to succeed, to be in a position that is fair and offers both of you promise.